Martin Luther King once quoted, "There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage". Can you relate to that? In a happy marriage, spouses are more than just a companion, or the co-parent of your children. They see each other as intimate partners in respective partner's individual striving towards great self-actualization. If you want the same thing, adopting these 10 keys can enable you to have a healthy happy marriage as well.
1. Tell him you love him frequently. Surprise him with love notes in his brief case and pockets. Be imaginative and creative when you convey your love, be it in actions or in words. Convey to him that not only you love you, you actually like him. Tell him that he is important to you.
2. Spend quality time together. If he gets up earlier that you want to, make it a point to wake up with him. Have breakfast together. Purposefully make time to sit and talk, to bond and connect. Sometimes having some shoulder-to-shoulder activities together, without having to talk, is relaxing. Maybe just a movie or taking a drive together. From time to time he may like to enjoy just your companionship, and not talking.
3. Be interested in areas that he feels is important in life. Always let him know that you are proud of him because of who he is, expressing specific reasons. Be his "pillar of support" in relevant ways you feels he needs in. Applaud his successes and be his cheerleader, be it in business or in other aspects of daily life.
4. Appreciate him more. Take note of the little things he has done for you, and for the family. Tell him 3 things you appreciate and value about him in particular. Find ways to constantly express and inform him that you need him.
5. Set family goals together. Discuss specific family goals on work on. These goals could be yearly, quarterly or simply short term goals. Working together to achieve these goals can enhance and strengthen your relationship deeper as a husband and wife team.
6. Pray for your husband. Help him be the Spiritual leader at home, without imposing pressure on him. Pray with him and for him, so that he will enjoy God's best in life.
7. Communicate maturely and sensitively. Allow your husband to talk and express himself freely, without fear of being criticized. Listen quietly and be very meticulous with your choice of words when you speak. Calling names, sarcasm and belittling are definite 'no-no's. Never ever criticize him in front of others. Protect our husband's self-respect, dignity and pride all the time. Whenever we are upset or angry, communicate it in respectful manners. No silent treatment please, as he cannot read your mind.
8. Give him space and time to be alone. Personal quiet time is crucial for self-development and harmony within one self. At times when he is in a lousy mood, do not crowd or hassle him. Give him time to recover by himself. At times, giving him some personal time to unwind when he comes home after a long day at work could do well for him too.
9. It is crucial to work on yourself too. If you know of any habits that basically annoy him, work on getting rid of them. If you make mistakes, admit them. It is healthy to let go of your ego and pride, and be humble. Working on yourself would also mean keeping yourself healthy and fit in every way. Keep yourself fun and attractive. Dress up to honor him, and make him feel proud to be seen with you.
10. Cultivate a happy and laughing home atmosphere. Always look for ways to laugh together. Surprise him with little amusing or funny gifts. Some vouchers to redeem, say for a shoulder rub, or a back scratch after a hard day work would be sensational. A fun atmosphere at home does make a lot of positive difference for a good marriage.
Almost every couple could have a healthy happy marriage if they place their marriage as priority number one. Marital ups and downs are common between couples, but if handled properly, these bumpy rides are actually blessings in disguise. They can bring couples closer due to the growing understanding of each other from the ups and downs.
Monday, May 3, 2010
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